Question about brother in law???

[Doeman]

I'm sorry if this is not the right place to post this if not I guess it will be moved.


The problem I have is my BIL is fixing to get out of prison and I have good relations with my FIL, whom has hunted on my property for the last two years(since I have been married) and had no problems. The problem is we were talking at a family function and he was talking about how much my BIL would enjoy going to deer camp and hunting etc... I know that he can't hunt legally with a rifle or anything like that but how do I stop it before this becomes a problem??? I don't want to make my FIL mad or my BIL just for the simple fact it makes my WIFE mad so if ANYBODY has any recommendations(sp?) I am open.

p.s. my BIL is available for parole next month

[rooster52]

First of all,I would not have anything to do with anything illegal.
Second if it is your property ,you should decide who you want to hunt on it.Third ,if your decision makes your wife mad,she will get over it .If she does not respect your decision ,then time for another wife.

Good huntin property is hard to find.

[mstarbird2000]

Well I hate to say it, but there is no easy way out of this situation, If he commited a felony he is not permitted to have firearms in his posession. Anyone suppling him with a firearm can get in trouble.

I would approch this like pulling off a band aid. Your feelings need to be said. And it needs to be done soon. The 1st thing I would do is get your wife on your side. If she really loves you she will understand your feelings and what is at stake legally with him around firearms. He may be her brother but you are her husban. She may feel like she has to make a choice between people she loves. Make sure she doesn't get forced into one on those situations. Not just from your end but from your FIL as well. You never know when a cop or a warden will show up. I have had LEO's meet me and my party in the woods wile hunting. Also you may see a LEO wile driving to or from camp/ tagging station with him in the car that has a firearm in it.


Also your FIL should respect your feelings. There is no reason your BIL can't be part of the family and be part of fucntions. Just not deer hunting. Its your property, and if people who hunt your property can't accept your rules, then you have the right to refuse access. This will make people mad. But if it gets the point home thats what matter. From you post it seems people are not concerned with your feelings on this. Thats not right. You need to get them out there and make sure they know them.


Honestly I had to law the law down with my own farther a time or two when it comes to hunting. And my situation with the inlaws are similar to yours where my wife is concerned. She is very close to her family. Too close for my comfort. Quite often the My wife and her parents try to make me feel like me feelings are out of line. Even when I'm right. I feel sorry for the situation your in. Its not going to be easy or pretty. But its got to be delt with. I really think your wife's support if where to start. She has almost as much to lose as you do, if he gets caught. Plus does she really want to risk her brother getting sent away again, for her farthers feelings? I wonder if he is like my farther and is assuming with out actually asking your BIL. Or could your FIL be intending on dragging your BIL up there because thats what you FIL wants. These are things you should find out.

Anyway. Good luck with this.

[winchesterwon]

No one would should advise breaking the law or game regulations. Have you checked with game and law officials to know exactly what the the law allows in your state. Black powder or archery might be a legal option. If you are willing to accomadate your BIL as long as no laws are broken, everyone should be understanding.

[TallTines]

I see two ways to handle this situation. The first way is the direct way. Make your stand and suffer the consequences. It won't be pleasant, but you will have a lot of respect for the guy who stares back at you in the morning while your shaving. The second is to to discretely invite the local game warden to give your property some extra attention this season. If your BIL knows that he is likely to run into the law if he hunts your property he would be a fool to do so. Your problem would be solved and if you are discrete you will keep peace with the wife and in-laws. Good luck, it's a sticky situation to be sure.

TallTines

[#10]

can he use a bow or no weapons at all

[Doeman]

I just want to be clear I am not going to let him hunt on my property or am I going to let him borrow anything to hunt with. He can use a bow and a crossbow but I don't want him to even know where the property is. I was just hoping for some suggestion on how to try keep the peace at home. Thanks for the replies I guess I'm just going to be straight up and see if anybody gets mad. Thanks again.

[Erik.300ULTRA]

Well, you could always get him sent back to prison...



OK, just kidding. I would come right out and say what is on your mind. Nip this in the bud, and be done with it. People will be mad at you, but they will be madder if they find out you went behind their back and talked to the Game Warden, they will view that as trying to set someone up for failure.

Erik

[Biggame1]

Don't worry about it. If he is going to break the law by carrying a firearm straight out of prison I personally feel that he will do something else illegal and end up back in prison anyway. He may be back in prison before hunting season and you won't have to worry about it.

[sick4x4]

though im not as harsh as the above, just remember what he does correlates to you as well....everyone deserves a 2nd chance but at what cost would it be worth it for you should be the question????

remember it would be unlawful for your BIL to be in a house with a gun, let alone being in possession of one.....sooo you might want to consider that as well..

[HOGWILD]

Hope you are smarter than your brother in law, not trying to be mean but neither of you can afford a felon with a firearm anywhere near a camp full of firearms! Hope you give the big thumbs DOWN & i know it's not easy but it should be!

[CannedHeat]

Well made points by all. You have to nip this in the arse well before the seasons get started and you need to get your family and the extended family on board. IMO...you'd be foolish to offer your property in any way for him to hunt on. He'll get all happy with the situation and then come gun deer season, expect to jump right in and then you'll have a good pi$$in' match on your hands.

Easter dinner would be an early enough start to make your feelings known and get them out in the air, provided you share the occasion with the FIL and sorts. By summer, things will hopefully have cooled down and be back on track. If your wife or FIL don't see your side of things...that'll be the stickler, and I wouldn't tell any guy what to do there. Good luck.

[BEARBOB]

I just want to be clear I am not going to let him hunt on my property or am I going to let him borrow anything to hunt with. He can use a bow and a crossbow but I don't want him to even know where the property is. I was just hoping for some suggestion on how to try keep the peace at home. Thanks for the replies I guess I'm just going to be straight up and see if anybody gets mad. Thanks again.

By this quote, are you saying that you just don't want him there period and it has nothing to do with what he can do legally.

If this is true, then you are screwed because by the sounds of it your wife (or fil) is not going to understand rejecting her brother without a good reason.

Even with a good reason you have an uphill battle but with no good raeson ................... good luck.

[sick4x4]

just use the we have guns and he would be violating his parole or probation if he were to come here excuse.....that should end all the debating period.... just like it would be a violation if he were to enter a cabela's or wal-mart that sold firearms..u just have to say, "i dont want to break the law...."

[airborne]

Since we do not know the whole story, it is hard to say what to do. It sounds like you have already decided not to have him around. Keep in mind that he is family and that if he is paroled, his peers have decided he has payed his debt. Dont decide yet. He may be a differnt person and truely feel regret for what he did. Over time you may be able to forgive him and all is well. Or. you may still have disregard for him. If your dislike has merit, I would think your wife will understand but if you dont want him around just because of the word felon, than you may be the person with the problem. Give it a chance first. He may not even want to hunt but instead might just want to hang out and be part of the experience. We have guys that come to camp just to hang out cook chop wood etc. He isn't going to go away so try the hard part and that is to get along first and see where it goes. remember you can forgive and not forget and that is ok.

[BoHogGrind]

I'm sorry if this is not the right place to post this if not I guess it will be moved.


The problem I have is my BIL is fixing to get out of prison and I have good relations with my FIL, whom has hunted on my property for the last two years(since I have been married) and had no problems. The problem is we were talking at a family function and he was talking about how much my BIL would enjoy going to deer camp and hunting etc... I know that he can't hunt legally with a rifle or anything like that but how do I stop it before this becomes a problem??? I don't want to make my FIL mad or my BIL just for the simple fact it makes my WIFE mad so if ANYBODY has any recommendations(sp?) I am open.

p.s. my BIL is available for parole next month

What about a bow or crossbow.Can he hunt with those?

[DinkKiller]

I don't want this to come across the wrong way. Your brother-in-law put himself in this situation; as a convicted felon, he should aleady know the repercussions of his actions and how they'd affect his life later on. I can understand your wife and father-in-law's feelings about the matter, but you don't need to jeopardize yourself for the action of others. He's a big boy and needs to accept his imposed restrictions. Unfortunately, you're caught in the middle and need to make everyone happy which probably isn't going to happen. You're in for a tough call. Good luck.

[mtnjoe3]

Have your wife call the Bureau of Investigation for your state they will tell you everything she needs to know!!! At that point you wont have to worry about your BIL accompanying you if you guys are in possession of firearms.

Every states laws differ from federal law, in some states he may be able to possess a muzzle loader or bow. But being around firearms is definitely out of the question. Hunting with any weapon may also be out of the question if he is on probation or parole! If you dont want him accompanying you; from a legal stand point in most cases he shouldn't be.

There are some misdemeanors that prevent anyone convicted from possessing muzzle loaders and rifles as well. In most cases archery equipment is an exception.

[ARduxnbux]

I'm sorry if this is not the right place to post this if not I guess it will be moved.


The problem I have is my BIL is fixing to get out of prison and I have good relations with my FIL, whom has hunted on my property for the last two years(since I have been married) and had no problems. The problem is we were talking at a family function and he was talking about how much my BIL would enjoy going to deer camp and hunting etc... I know that he can't hunt legally with a rifle or anything like that but how do I stop it before this becomes a problem??? I don't want to make my FIL mad or my BIL just for the simple fact it makes my WIFE mad so if ANYBODY has any recommendations(sp?) I am open.

p.s. my BIL is available for parole next month

Simply explain to him that if ANYTHING goes wrong and your BIL is caught with a firearm in his possession (pulled over for a minor traffic violation, gets checked by a game warden, tags a deer during the gun deer season, just to name a few), he is in violation of federal law pertaining to felons having firearms and will be re-routed to the pen with fresh, new charges and convictions to serve out, probably in the form of a consecutive sentence. God help any and all of you if you're hunting with him and he winds up injuring or killing another hunter, whether it's an accident or not does not matter. Anyone supplying a firearm to someone while knowing they are a convicted felon, or knowing they had a conviction for any kind of assault, are also in volation of the law. Tracing the firearm back to the owner places the owner of said firearm in a precarious situation, as well.

Such an incident took place in southern Alabama while I was living just a few miles down the road in NW Florida in the late 90's. A parolee accidentally shot another hunter while deer hunting, and was sent back to the pen, not only to serve out the remainder of their original sentence, but also under the weight of a new manslaughter charge, and there was never an argument that he did anything intentional with regarding to shooting another person. The simple fact was that he was made aware that he could not use a firearm as part of his original conditions of parole, he violated it, and the rest did not matter. The folks allowing him to use a firearm were suddenly in a difficult situation as well.

If they persist on rolling the dice and hunting anyway, just decline to participate in any hunting activity with them. A civil relationship with your FIL and BIL will be of little comfort or consolation if/when you're inside a penetentiary with them. If they're going to make your life a living hades because you won't put yourself into such a situation, simply get ready to get out of it if and when the situation begins to deteriorate.

And I would not wait until hunting season is about to open to nip this thing in the bud. The time to deal with it is NOW.

[ARduxnbux]

I just want to be clear I am not going to let him hunt on my property or am I going to let him borrow anything to hunt with. He can use a bow and a crossbow but I don't want him to even know where the property is. I was just hoping for some suggestion on how to try keep the peace at home. Thanks for the replies I guess I'm just going to be straight up and see if anybody gets mad. Thanks again.

Not to sound like I'm advocating being overly confrontational with folks you've got to live with, but you have to stand up for yourself on this thing. You're bound to lose a LOT in this whole dilemna if you just go with the family flow in an effort to keep things civil. You'd better start thinking long and hard about what life's going to be like once those bars slam shut behind you if and when this thing goes south on you.

Your BIL put himself into the predicament of being a convicted felon, and with that comes unpleasant consequences. There is no legitimate reason why you or anyone else in the family should feel obligated to do something which puts you into the same predicament in order to cover for him.

I know blood is thicker than water, and your wife/in-laws are clearly experiencing clouded judgment due to that, but just steer completely clear of all this. Tell them your feelings about all of it, stand your ground, wash your hands of the ordeal and be done with it, because when things go terribly wrong, you'll be standing alone in a situation none of us wants any part of, and your wife will lose everything the two of you have worked so hard for in the same process.

[dubyam]

This is definitely not one of those situations where it's easier to ask forgiveness than it is to ask permission. I'd get a clear version of what the laws are regarding your BIL being around firearms in the situation of a hunting camp. Best bet is to contact a local judge or the clerk of the court, and ask them to refer you to the right source. This is public information and should be readily available. Then, go to your wife, and explain what the laws are. If he is allowed to bow hunt, that's one thing, but find out if it's going to impact your hunting for him to be in camp during rifle season and such. Now, once you know the law, explain it to your wife form the standpoint of "Here's what we need to know so we don't end up getting him inadvertently sent back to the pen." She should be receptive if you frame it like you're looking for a way to work it out. Now, the great hope is that the law will preclude you from working it out (which it almost undoubtedly will) and then you're off the hook. If your wife asks you to break the law, you need to have a serious conversation with her about it. That's another story entirely. Remember that if the law prevents him from being in a deer camp with firearms, that means even a .22lr pistol that you keep there for varmints and target use, so even in bow season he's disallowed in that case. Logic will dictate that you can't afford to break the law, and even if everybody is ticked off, at least you can sit comfortable in the knowledge that you won't lose your property and your freedom due to stupidity on behalf of your in-laws. Stand your ground. That's what personal property rights are about. Otherwise, nobody would have the ability to post property.

[C. Schutte]

Not that this matters but, what kind of person is your Brother-in-law and why is he in prison? By the way, this is really a personal question that I have no business asking so please do not feel any pressure to answer. The reason I ask is that I assume that most people in prison are there because they are bad people. If he is bad or confrontational then you owe it to the rest of the hunters to not destroy their good time. Good luck with this mess..................chs

[Harry B.]

Sir;
My sons boy just got out of a lengthy prison sentence and be assured he hasn't learned his lesson! Stay as far away from this as possible!
Harry B.

[citori]

Doeman,
I do not envy you in the least, this can be a difficult situation. I have a hunting camp which has had similar situations arise though not any of my wife's family have been involved, just mine (I have "the wild bunch" on my side of the marriage). I just stated that the person in question was not welcome at the camp as the presence of firearms could lead to a problem with their parole and I did not want to have these types of headaches with either the individual or the authorities. I always have at least one extra gun in camp which could then be thought of as being in the person's possession as they both would be at the camp. That could then violate their parole and that would not be good. My rule has been once all rights have been restored, then they are more than welcome at the camp during hunting season. Until then, they should stay away for their own good as well as othes. Being a police officer of one sort or another has helped me too, I can be rather hardnosed when the situation warrants (and sometimes when it doesn't).
If you do not trust your BIL at any time, make that well known to your wife immediately and why. It will lead to some hard feelings but it is better to get them out right away rather than after simmering for a while. If, and that is a big IF, something happens, one tactful, "I told you so," is in order but time it right and then drop it. I did that to an ex-girlfriend after her cousin burgled my cabin. We stayed together for a while but she was more embarassed about the incident than I and eventually left. These are touchy situations with no clearcut answers. Those who fight it the most may know deep inside you are right but have not come to grips with the reality yet, these are the worst to deal with.